afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
