You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
