found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
