don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
