I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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