Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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