i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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