I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
