all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
