So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He shit in the fireplace
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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