i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
love makes seman taste better
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
There's even glitter on my cock...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
