there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
