WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We got so high we made milksteak
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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