I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
