You're my little dorito
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
