The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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