just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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