at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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