it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
