omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
