Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
