Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
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Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
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When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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