watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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