He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
