Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
