oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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