I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
