How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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