Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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