at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Randomize
