i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
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