Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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