I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
