Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
