it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
is this the sara with the beer cane?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
