I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I need a beard to bite.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
