you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize