My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
