and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
