ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
