No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize