I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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