it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Randomize
