I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
My vagina just clenched in fear
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
