I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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