Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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