We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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