HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize