my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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