I'd wear matching sweaters with you
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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