he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
