bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
