I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
