ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
