I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
