Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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