Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
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i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
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You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize