girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
