glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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