Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
