the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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