You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
